Big world, small paws!

http://www.ratemykitten.com/ratemy/kitten?image=244479

I surely am not in a good mood today. First, this whole chinese dog year is making me upset. I mean come on… Who would like a dog year when they could have a kitten year? There is nothing really special about dogs. They bark, they bite, they don’t know how to use a litter box, they need to be walked, they cannot be let alone, they eat so much food and they cannot groom themselves. I will need to write a letter to the chinese government demanding a change. If I claim that my mommy is a communist, they may listen.

Secondly, the weather is so terrible outside that I can only force myself to get up. What is there to do when it drizzles all day? Nothing. All the birdies outside are in their nests and none of the other kittens can come by to visit. In fact it is so boring that I am only getting up to write this blog. Then, I am off to bed again. Yawn.

Thirdly, I got another sex solicitation on my Friendster account. As if that is not bad enough, it was not even addressed to me. What is that all about?

Ok, last, but not least, I am seriously running low on kitten food and B has not made an attempt to buy me new stuff. What is up with that? Meanwhile, she even got a 20% off coupon from Petsmart in the mail. I tell you, these Humans are one lazy species… Ok, I am off to bed again. Heheh, that is what we kittens do. So, I don’t want to hear any complains.

Last night, my short little kitten life flashed before my wonderfully green eyes in a flash. Ok, so I am a little bit overdramatic, but what happened last night could have ended in a big disaster with two cute and intelligent ladies gone from this earth.

It all started when I heard a big bang in the kitchen around 3am. I struggled from under the cover and ran into the kitchen. There I saw the candle that B forgot to blow out blazing. The fire had caught the strings that were wrapped around the candle (So much for good and safe designs. Who warps a string around a candle? Tsk…) and the thing was fully a blaze. The bang was teh results of teh shattered glass that held the candle originally. I ran back into the bedroom and jumped on B to wake up. She was already awake from the bang and came into the kitchen with me. Together, but without avail, we tried to blow out the blazing candle. And you think our yoga lungs would bless us with lots of oxygen. Finally, B took some water and extinguished the flame. Shortly after the firealarm went on from all the smoke and we desperately tried to shut it off, so the neighbors would not be disturbed. We succeded! What a scare, though. If the glass had not broken and we had both woken up from the big bang, who knows from which cloud we would be smiling down today. I think from now on, I will make B walk through the apartment twice after extinguishing all candles. Who needs romantic lighting when they can be killed by it, I ask.

Come and party at my house. B told me that she is going away for the weekend and I have not been assigned to anyone for babysitting duties. That means that she finally believes in me being a mature and honest kitten. Yeah! What a step into the right direction. So, if you are around this weekend and you need a kitten rub or a kitten drink, call me up. I am there for you… party on at the animal house!

This certainly has not been an easy start to the new year for us two ladies at Potter Park. First B goes away for a week, then she has a fever, then she has a allergic reaction to one of my kitten hairs, then the car goes bust and now, the latest is a belly ache to milk. Yes, you read right - milk. And the thing is that she knows that she has a lactose intolerance. How did it happen? Well, last night, after yoga class and headstands in the living room that made me dizzy from watching, she had a glass of a warm chocolate milk. Apparently, to help her sleep. She should have known better, but let’s not try to blame her now, but rather support her in her pain.

Within 10 minutes after slurping down that drink, she was curling herself up in a big fancy Human bowl. I honestly could not have done a better curl. She was pale and shaking and I did not know how to call 911. (I have learned how to do this today.) Sigh! I tried to be comforting, laying near B’s belly, but nothing helped. Now, I am trying to make her eat, which is not easy because she is scared of eating anything right now. At least she is drinking some vitamin water.

Well, I am hoping that after this month, things will start to up. We girls could certainly use a break…

B had an eye infection yesterday and I got blamed. Apparently, a long time ago, she was very allergic to kittens. She used to get huge hives all over her body and her lips would look like she had a botox injection. Then, she even had to go to the hospital because, her eyes were so swollen she could not see. Yikes, I say!

She never had any problems around me, if you don’t count the occasional sniff. Thus, I am not sure what happened and I certainly do not want to take the blame for this. But I did get blamed. She woke up yesterday and her eyes were swollen so much that you could hardly see her eye lashes. (And she has such lovely long eye lashes.) She looked like a big monster, but don’t say that I said that. Trying to put contacts in, obviously failed and the icing only made the swelling go down a little. So, she wore her glasses to work, which, I think, look really fab. She did not like it and and last night, I had to listen to her complain about my kitten hair being in her bed. Tsk! The thing I don’t get is that she wants me to be in her bed to warm her feet. Girls… I am telling you. They want it all and a little kitten like me works really hard to make all of her wishes come true. Where is my thanks?

I hope one day, I will have a book written about me with that title. Just like this one -> http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/books/01/23/books.marley.me.ap/index.html Marley has sold over 650,000 copies. That would mean lots of money for the B if she writes about me. And in all honesty, I have more funny stories than Marley. For example:
* I jumped into the sink and watch the water run down my tail.
* I tried to lean on B when she is in the shower.
* I climb up the fireplace from the inside.
* I destroy boxes and paperwbags within one hour.
* I don’t eat human food, but like to sniff it.
* I sleep under the blanket and growl like a dog when I get woken up at night.
* I am scared of being outside.
* I climb up on the moskito screen, squeezing between the screen and the window.
* I swing from curtains.
* I have climbed into the freezer, even though it is on top of the fridge.
* I have gotten stuck in drawsers.
* I love shoe laces.

It is snowing. I woke up this morning and jumped on the heater, as I do every morning, to greet the birdies outside. But I could not see anything. White fuzzies kept slowly descending down and I so wanted to catch and touch them. But, unfortunately, the window was in the way. It was exciting, nevertheless. B opened a window for me and I could sniff the cold air and the smell of snow. No one ever believes me when I say that snow can smell, but I tell you it does. Just remember, we kittens have a great sense of smell. Which reminds me: have you heard about the fact that dogs can get trained to distinguish human breath that comes from cancerous lungs and non-cancerous lungs? Humans think that this is so cool, but we animals knew this all along. So funny, how humans can get so excited about something that we animals take for granted. Well, I hope the humans will take this new finding a step further and actually do something useful with it.

My weekend was spent planning for the big visit this coming summer. Mama and Papa Schellenberg are scheduled to arrive in August. They will stay with us for three weeks and we get to celebrate Mama Schellenberg’s birthday and B’s 15th anniversary of the German invasion during their visit. I am very much looking forward thsi big event. I know they will just love me. Papa Schellenberg will play with me for hours and Mama Schellenberg will let me eat some of her yummy food. And finally, I will have some people around me during the long day hours when B is at work. As much as I like the smell of snow, I am very much looking forward to this coming summer.

It is sort of strange how whiny sick humans can be. Last night, B got home, skipped her Tuesday evening Yoga class and went right to bed. I knew something was wrong. So, I jumped on the bed and purred my way into the little nook between her shoulder and her head. I tried to be sweet and caring and see what was wrong, but was moved out of my nook only a couple minutes after I got there. There was complaining that I purr too loud and that I was making her hot. So, I tried to lay near her legs keeping her feet warm, but she kept on kicking me and after a while I just had enough.

This morning, she did not want to get out of bed and I had to jump on her a couple times reminding her that every little kitten needs breakfast. She finally got up, showered quickly without playing in the water with me, dumped some food into my bowl and left. I snuggled myself cozy on the large bed she has hoping to ctach some well-deserved snoozies. Suddenly, the front door opened again and B was back. Looking pale and grumpy, she told me that the doctor told her she has a fever and should lay in bed for the remainder of the day. Of course that meant that my bedtime was over. Sigh! I guess, I will spend the rest of the day on the heater. At least I can stretch myself out. Let’s all pray to the kitten Gods of Italy that B will feel better tomorrow. I certainly cannot take much more of this grumpiness.

The Patriot’s lost after playing below average. I was disappointed. But since I don’t care that much for grown boy humans in tight pants and a rowdy attitude, I am not too affected by this event. I am, however, affected by the winner of the Eukanuba Best in Show winner, who is this adorable Alaskan Malamute named Costello. He has the fluffiest fur and a great smile. I am very happy he won. There is nothing better than having a real working breed win such an elite competition. I wish we had a dog at home. At least, I could play with someone during my lonely day hours. And at night, he could keep me warm and protected. Of course, I would pick a strong medium size dog. Maybe I should email Costello and ask him to visit me. Cambridge surely is a nice home for a dog like Costello, especially today when it is only 22 F. I wonder if he can also sing like Elvis.